Yessss
Posted by callisto at 09:45 PM on October 8, 2004.
If i even want to use this place properly, I have to clear out all the old junk that's sitting here.
the far side of the moon.
About Me
Male.
October 8th, 2004
June 24th, 2004
Clinging on
Posted by callisto at 11:40 PM on June 24, 2004.
I don't know why I still hold on to this blog. It was originally created as a replacement for my current one at lastgoodnight.net but now that my original one is back online I don't really need it anymore.
Well maybe I do. Nobody comes here but everybody goes there, so while I have to at least put up a semblance of a facade over there I can simply blog about anything I want here. No worries about appearing like an emo wuss, no worries about being offensive and no worries about leaking out my secrets. It's become a platform for expression that perhaps only random passing strangers will ever read. And that's something I need, I guess.
Well maybe I do. Nobody comes here but everybody goes there, so while I have to at least put up a semblance of a facade over there I can simply blog about anything I want here. No worries about appearing like an emo wuss, no worries about being offensive and no worries about leaking out my secrets. It's become a platform for expression that perhaps only random passing strangers will ever read. And that's something I need, I guess.
May 30th, 2004
Posted by callisto at 11:25 PM on May 30, 2004.
I'm afraid to go to sleep unless I'm exhausted. I really can do without those long periods of solitude waiting for sleep to come. I tend to get overwhelmed by the same thoughts over and over again.
It's always painful to let go. Walking away from something or someone you know that you can't do without is never easy, but sometimes - oftentimes - you're forced to do it.
Time heals all wounds. At least, I believe more and more that I've made the right decision as time goes by. But that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I don't know why I'm always getting myself into messes like this and just totally screw everything up.
Regardless, it's something which has to be done, sooner better than later. Deceiving myself that things are all right when they clearly aren't can only go on for so long, and the longer I drag the worse things become.
I'm quite a failure in this. I made some major mistakes, and for that I wish I could turn back time but no amount of pining would grant me my wish. I suppose I have to take away lessons from this experience but it seeems that I never learn.
Perhaps my biggest weakness is that I'm unable to stand firm in my decision. The moment I get a glimpse of a possibility of something which clearly isn't there all my carefully constructed defences just go crumbling down the drain. And then I have to set myself up for disappointment again.
Time heals all wounds. Certainly taking its time with this one.
It's always painful to let go. Walking away from something or someone you know that you can't do without is never easy, but sometimes - oftentimes - you're forced to do it.
Time heals all wounds. At least, I believe more and more that I've made the right decision as time goes by. But that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I don't know why I'm always getting myself into messes like this and just totally screw everything up.
Regardless, it's something which has to be done, sooner better than later. Deceiving myself that things are all right when they clearly aren't can only go on for so long, and the longer I drag the worse things become.
I'm quite a failure in this. I made some major mistakes, and for that I wish I could turn back time but no amount of pining would grant me my wish. I suppose I have to take away lessons from this experience but it seeems that I never learn.
Perhaps my biggest weakness is that I'm unable to stand firm in my decision. The moment I get a glimpse of a possibility of something which clearly isn't there all my carefully constructed defences just go crumbling down the drain. And then I have to set myself up for disappointment again.
Time heals all wounds. Certainly taking its time with this one.